A spade’s a spade

I understand why you got angry with yourself for wasting time.

It sounds like you value the importance of being productive.

So when you’re not productive it can feel like you’ve let yourself down.

But as your therapist, I’m wondering why this sent of ‘doing’ is so important?

When you’re productive it can feel like you’ve made an impact on the world.

You can see some tangible results of your toil and industry.

Something to point at.

Something to be proud of.

It can feel validating.

But I wonder if that validation can become addictive?

As if you’re always chasing it.

And then, what happens when it’s no longer there?

When this validation is no longer available.

I can imagine that bring up difficult feelings.

Perhaps these feelings haven’t had much space in the past.

Yet there they are - filling the emptiness.

There’s a sense of being forced to sit with something.

But maybe it’s something that does needs more of your attention?

This is the final thought I shall leave you with.

Take care,

Dave